2022 In Review
Hi everyone. I’m sorry if I’ve been distant. It has been a heroic year. One of those improbable conjunctions of suffering, miring deep sadness and incredible triumph.
My existence is marred, made by extremes that culminate in a tapestry of vivid experiences.
This year demanded more from me than any other my other years. I set it for myself it at the conclusion of 2021. Closing that year was difficult. I was still in rehabilitation for physical injury and freshly checking in with reception due to a breakup. I vowed to do better in the upcoming year and finally carve out some milestones that I had been eyeing, threatening, circling around for years.
That was the theme, an effort in completion. I had two specific long-term goals, one that carried over from a promise made 7 years ago and the other conceived 5 years ago. These were not meager goals either. They were monumental tasks.
The first was an Ironman. I had completed this one with relative ease, emphasis on the relative. It was a joyful experience, and the travel was a great conclusion/reward. That summer also marked my 30th birthday, making for a cumulative high that was well worth the strain of the race.
In retrospect, the training seemed achievable but time consuming. Doing a competition of that distance required substantial commitment, a minimum of 4 training days a week and active recovery on rest days. Especially in the last months, as I kicked into higher gear, I was unable to do anything else except train, recover, and eat, taking both days of the weekend to push longer and longer distances.
It is difficult to understate the process. But I integrated it into my life and that rewarded me with beautiful miles in Mexico, others in San Diego. The long bike rides showed me new faces of New Jersey and New York. The stationary bike was where I watched many Ranger’s games, inspired by their concentrated efforts to put forth my own. The swims in Briton beach were great excuses for friends, tanning, piroshki’s, champagne and strawberries. I found plenty of hideaways for yoga, PT, and meditation.
I am a practice sort of person, I love the hours of effort, the results from months of work. Even still, the Ironman pushed my limits. I am proud of how I stuck to my self-created training plan. I healed injuries, pushed past stupid mistakes, like running into a pillar and bruising a rib, and got through the PT sessions with extra work always. I poured sweat, enough to need beg a Gatorade off of strangers, BBQing in the park during mile 18 of a 20 mile run. I burned calories, enough to eat ferociously. I could trust my growth and my pain tolerances. I could trust the outcomes of the exercise. I could trust my gut to control my diet. I tuned my body to seriously endure and endure it did.
I feel like if I have mastered anything in my existence, it is my physical body. Especially with this triathlon done. It’s not to say I am the world’s greatest athlete, but my body is extremely capable. I know its limits. I know its strengths. I know my areas of improvement. I’m very in tune with my physical self.
I was grateful that the day job was less taxing, else I might not have had the energy to complete the workouts. I was also able to maintain my other hobbies to a degree. This kept me well rounded, even when I was feeling consumed entirely by exercise.
For next year, I’d like to do a half. It is a much more approachable distance and will keep me in good shape for future full distance races which I plan for at least once a decade. I will not be complacent. I will start early in the year and add more brick workouts. Last year I can remember a handful of training days that were essentially as long as the half-Iron. I’d like to hit a few of those this year, without the pressure of tackling the full distance at the end of the season.
The PMP was the other successful goal. I wanted to increase my resume weight. I had completed a coding boot camp, but I really didn’t use the knowledge. But I still wanted to prove that I can learn new skills and increase my value in a capitalist system. Whatever. It wasn’t particularly interesting work, but I dedicated 30 – 60mins a day towards studying and I made all the material in 6 months. I did fail the test for an accusation of cheating. That was a rough night. I wasn’t cheating for the record. But apparently shifting in your chair too many times is suspect enough to be flagged and then revoked. The second time was a pass and it was useful to have experienced the test before. The types of questions were slightly different than the practice books. Remote testing was also a new experience and not a good one.
All in all, it was decent. And I would like to add another training, I imagine the second certification will be easier, and though it might be marginally less impactful, I think a great commitment to the bit would benefit my career aspirations. SCRUM Master or an equally difficult and precise certification.
The third goal was to have a hardcover book in my hands. It was overly ambitious, but I’m grateful to have made it that way, because it drove me to be much closer. The book was edited throughout the year. Laura Thomas took a long look at it. I had early readers also give feedback. The manuscript is not perfect but it is much closer. I would like to imagine 10 to 20hrs of editing will complete the task. I hope to find sometime before year-end to get Peter’s eyes and time. The copy-editors have both been notified as well. The first third is submitted to Anya. The next steps are to find an agent and get an article published in a magazine. I’m not sure how long those steps will take, but I will approach them with a commensurate level of urgency because I want to have this book in my hands and sold to friends, preferably in the first half of the year.
The Haikus haven’t really gone anywhere, but they are edited as well. A copy editor, plus contacting some artists would be nice.
I’ve been more spiritual this year. In part that was driven by the need for emotional repair, but also, it has been coming to me as I explore breathing and meditation. I have had exactly two real prayers, powerful realignments and reassurances, but also humbling in its futility. Praying helps. Of course it helps. But it might not change anything.
Meditation has been a great place for me. It is something I now desire in a very similar way as I need exercise. Those two tools in combination are extremely powerful. They allow me to be better grounded in reality and give me tangible practices when other things are less in my control. Besides its mental health benefits, meditation has also fostered more spirituality in my life.
A joke has come up that I am a level 7 traveler, a level 5 hippie, and a level 4 witch. The description has got some merit, because I have found a lot of joy in those areas. But the witchcraft/sorcery skill tree is quite new to me. Yet I can say with confidence that I’ve found growth in that area over the year.
In part it has been from the Artist’s Way, which TB gifted me and I have finished. I had better weeks than others. I still do the morning pages, but I haven’t been great at the Artist Dates. My neighbor, funny enough, did it at the same time, so that was a cool shared experience.
My next course is the Theory of Enchantment by my friend Chloe Valdary. It has been a challenging but entertaining experience. I’ve felt reasonably knowledgeable about imaging others complexly, but having a fresh perspective, new reading/absorbing material, and more applicable practice has been enlightening. So far my favorites are the readings from literary greats. I haven’t analyzed prose so carefully since college, and it’s been nice to come back to that learning process. I look forward to finishing early in the new year.
My artist has not exactly thrived, but neither has it suffered. I’ve made a few new things, like the bottle strap, the felt heart gifts, watercolors, Horatio, and doodles. I’ve even published and committed two full poems to memory which has been great. I’ve performed a few open mics, and now there is an ask for me to host more, which I will follow. This work is being done and the artist is being fed but in the new year, I’d like to integrate it more into my life.
In 2023, I’d like to try CPG Grey’s Seasonal Themes. I can change them if I want and I don’t have to start or stop within a season, but it essentially gives me four tasks, refrains, challenges to the year.
Repair. My surroundings. My fitness level. My health. My parent’s health.
Create. Art. Open Mics. Experiences.
Complete. Finish tasks. Accomplish goals. Complete projects.
Concentrate. Give effort when I am doing something. Turn away less during pomos. Do not be distracted.
As for tangible outcomes, I play to run a half Iron, maybe in Montreal. Publish the book, either with an agent or indie. Publish in a magazine! Get promoted and compensated for the job I am doing, plus add one accreditation from PMI. At least two festivals. Envision is definitely on that list as in the Burn. Create at least four pieces of artwork out of Resistor, Ranger’s crest, Statue, Cosplay?, Lantern?. Maximize memories with my parents and my family. I’d like to look back on 2023 as a year of doing the little things right in again preparation for 2024, where I start another chapter of traveling, another jaunt around the world. That would be happy for me.
This year is an interesting one, sandwiched between my New York life and the life I want to live as a traveler. I miss, deeply and intensely, miss the road. I will be back to it, with enough skills to maximize my time. I will hold myself accountable here, I must, but it comes at the future cost. I will leave again. I yearn for it.
Good luck to all of you this year. May it be fruitful and wondrous.