I’m so white washed I could be bleached on a hot and extra rinse cycle. I’m so white washed, the shells of sunbaked oysters get jealous. I’m so white washed, Georgia O’Keefe took inspiration from me for her intricate shades of bones in the Arizona desert.

Blame my mom! She’s god a bigger hard on for British manners than the 55 year old Midwestern Mom who obsesses over the Royal weddings.

As such, I was raised to mimic white behavior. Table manners were highly valued, as were mannerisms for cleanliness, polite behavior, generally flat aloofness.

But culture seeps regardless. I have a strong preference for loose leaf tea, Mom was a fanatical green tea drinker. [Dad prefers black with milk, no sweetener. Very British]

No shoes household is a rule I will have for life. I don’t wear slippers but I can see that appeal

I love Chinese cuisine but I have a taste for the comfort peasant food of tomato dumpling soup, or mapu tofu or just rice porridge and leftovers

Interesting, I have shitty chopstick skills. Plenty of ABCs and Mainlanders don’t follow “convention” on chopstick rules. Turns out, if you just use em enough, you find your own way to eat rice grains with two sticks. Technique be damned! I still get made fun-of by my relatives for the twisted claw-like grasp on the thin sticks of wood we call utensils. Fuck it. Shoveling food from bowl directly into the mouth is the most authentic! Slurping be damned!

I didn’t have much choice in these habits, built from a lifetime of parental guidance, consciousness and unconscious. But I do have a choice on what cultures I revel in now. And importantly what habits, ticks, and celebrations I learn and continue and pass on.

See because fuck whitewashing. Fuck the very idea of whitewashing. I’mma be as white washed as it is useful [fairly, particularly for a project manager in a large bank in a white patriarchy.]  I am who I collectively choose to be. I join cultures I want. I can code switch a little better.

I’ll be the fusion of every amazing thing I can find, touch, smell, taste, feel. I’mma flaunt it with passion, because it’ll be dope as fuck. And then when I’ve sat at every table, hugged every gma, and bowed at every shrine; then it will be me with the breath of human experience. It’ll always be me being politically, culturally, and humanly correct.

Culture is meant to be shared, explored, changed. Humans have never been stagnant. We push beyond the borders of our know maps, always striving for something over the horizon.

We seek to learn and play with each other, from drinking German beers under Munich tents to prayer wheels in Bali to muna tea in Cusco to flambeaux in Louisiana. These are no doubt parts of culture; historical and important. They are traditions rich in history, personalized by families, and engrained in the fabric of a people; as much as New Yorkers love their pizza and bagels, Black Americans have gospel choirs, Koreans have kimchi and American-Koreans have Korean marts.

Here’s what I say. Engage in cultures that aren’t yours. Find things you like, find things you love, find things that change your perspective and force you outside your assumptions.

See cuz the more we draw inward, the more divided and tribal we’ll become. The more we think a group “owns” an idea or a style, the more we’ll find systemic discrimination and prejudice. Think about how a turban can subject a person to all sorts of vile comments and problems when, they could easily not be Muslim.

But headscarves are a woman’s fashion accessory [although what isn’t now a days?]

Imitation is the highest form of flattery. Sharing culture is the highest form of respect and inclusion. When I prance around in a dashiki, I’m expressing joy, when I’m cloaked in a kimono, I’m wearing my Sunday best. When I’m neatly tied in a tailored suit, I’m presenting my professional best.

See we should be on this earth to experience as many things, lifestyles, places, and people as we can. We should revel in each other’s godliness. Behold to the weight of their traditions. Grateful that we can learn from one another.

I’m going to humbly learn everything I can, share everything I learn, and love to share what I have.